


Past

by dontcare77ghj



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, M/M, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Tony Needs a Hug, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:41:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontcare77ghj/pseuds/dontcare77ghj
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark/Reader, Tony Stark/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Past

Steve x reader x Tony

Requested by anon.

The three of you were what society would call broken. The three of you each had pasts that were littered with betrayals, deception, and pain. Few were who they said they were, and sometimes the ones that were didn't stick around for long.  
When the three of you met, you were all barely holding yourselves together. Tony was an alcoholic, Steve was struggling to connect with the time and get over his past, and your walls were so tall you couldn't form the most basic of connections.  
The team had been together and living in the Tower for nearly two years when the three of you came to a similar realization.   
Suddenly it felt as if you were all mending.  
The three of you tried to convince yourselves it was nothing, but after a team movie night, you knew. You knew that it was something.  
Tony had declined any drink offered to him for almost three months. Steve often volunteered enthusiastically to set up any bit of tech. And your walls had never been so low in your life.  
And it was after that one movie night, where the three of you had stayed awake the longest, you knew all these things were because of one another.  
After that, the three of you began to spend more time together, but it wasn't until months later the three of you addressed what you really were.  
And now, three years down the line, you were all happy. Happy with yourselves and with one another.  
Your present was brighter than your past had ever been. But that wasn't to say the past was a distant memory.  
The past still lingered, and it affected each of you in whatever way it pleased. But the three of you were no longer forced to suffer alone.  
You had each other.  
And the three of you would always help each other with your pains.

"And this Captain Rogers is our state-of-the-art training room." The man announced, allowing Steve to look around the large room for himself and take it all in.  
"It's fantastic. I imagine the recruits will have no trouble training in here." Steve said, smiling at the training room.   
"Unless they fall from something and break another thing." Tony joked, causing everyone in the room to chuckle.  
"I assure you, Mr. Stark, we've taken every precaution we could have to ensure the safety of our recruits." Your tour guide assured him before his phone began to ring loudly. "Ah, apologies, I have to take this." He said before excusing himself.  
"So what do you think, Stevie?" You asked, wrapping your arm around Steve's waist. "This is all in your honor."  
"You make it sound like I'm dead." Steve chuckled, throwing a broad arm around your shoulders.   
"Well, they thought you were for seventy years. Turns out you were just napping, you lazy sod." Tony teased, hooking a finger into the loops of Steve's jeans.  
"Saving the world's a tough gig, you know?" Steve shrugged. "I think I deserved that nap. Besides, we all remember the nap you took after 2012."  
"I had just died. I more than earned that." Tony defended himself, causing you and Steve to laugh just as your tour guide came back over.  
"Sorry about that. Now, how about we move the tour along, and I can show you our dedicated Steve Rogers training ground." He suggested.  
"Lead the way." Steve nodded.  
"So we added this area to our facility to really show the recruits how hard we'd be working them. It's designed to push the recruits to their absolute limits. We've actually had a couple drop out because of this course." He chuckled.  
"Sounds grueling," Steve commented.  
"Perhaps you'd like to try it, Captain." The man suggested. "See if it meets your standards."  
"You know what, that sounds fun." Steve agreed as they came to the doors to the course. "What exactly is the course?" He asked the man.  
"Can't tell you, Captain. That's the point of the course, to keep everyone on their toes." He told him. "Still interested?"  
"Definitely." Steve nodded.  
"Great!" The guide clapped. "How about we go up to the observation deck, where you can watch first hand?" He suggested to you and Tony.  
"That sounds like a plan." You said while Tony nodded.  
"Okay, I'll lead you both to the deck, and Captain, when this light turns green, you can start the course." The guide said, pointing to a light beside the door.  
"Break a leg, Steve." You said, leaning up to kiss Steve on the cheek.  
"Not literally, please. We still haven't perfected your pain meds." Tony added, kissing Steve himself.  
You and Tony followed your guide up a long flight of stairs and into a small room that contained computer monitors, a control panel, and three chairs.  
The two of you took a seat as the man switched the control panel and the monitors on. Within seconds there was an automatic countdown, and Steve was beginning the course.  
"So what exactly is Steve going to be going up against?" You asked as Steve began to run through the course.  
"Each section of the course is designed to test a recruit's endurance, strength, resilience, stamina, and ingenuity." He told you. "We've made the course perfectly unpredictable to ensure that everyone is kept on their toes."  
"And how exactly does this tie into Steve, apart from it being named after him?" Tony questioned, not taking his eyes off the screen. Steve had already worked through two trials and appeared to be in a zone of his own.  
"Several of the tests have been inspired by Captain Rogers's journey from his beginning to his Avenger days. Many of the trials he will face are reminiscent of what he would have faced in his own training. Some have been inspired by his first missions. And we even have a test inspired by when he crashed the valkyrie." The man told you proudly.  
"How?" You asked, already on your feet. "How is it like the valkyrie?"  
"Captain Rogers will have to swim about seven miles, collectively back and forth, in ice water." He said, causing Tony to also stand.  
"How close is he?" Tony demanded. "How close is he to the water?"  
"About a challenge away." The man supplied.  
"Shut it off. Shut it off, now." Tony demanded, already moving to the control panel. "Y/N, go, I'll catch up," Tony told you, but it was redundant because you were already rushing out the door and down the stairs.  
By the time you made it down the stairs and to the door you left Steve, it was already open.   
Instead of completing the trials, you simply phased through every obstacle and challenge until you were at the poolside.   
Where Steve was already.  
Except he wasn't swimming, and he wasn't flailing. He had simply sunk to the bottom of the pool.  
Without another thought, you jumped into the icy water and swam towards your drowned partner. You pushed yourself to his side and dragged him up to the surface. Just as you made it to the side of the pool, Tony appeared and helped drag Steve out of the water.   
Tony was already beginning to push on Steve's stomach in hopes of forcing the water out of him. You were sat by Steve's side, watching Tony continue his attempts when Steve lurched upright and threw up all over himself.  
"Oh, that's it, honey." You sighed, rubbing Steve's back as he continued to throw up watery bile. "Let it all out."  
"It's too cold. It's too cold. I'm so cold." Steve stuttered out between throwing up the water from his stomach.  
"We know, we know, Stevie." Tony cooed. "And there are blankets in the car for you, but you gotta calm down before we can get you to the car."  
"No more cold." Steve shook his head.   
"No more cold." You agreed.   
The two of you continued to calm Steve down until he was coherent enough that you could convince him to stand.   
"Sorry." Steve stuttered as you and Tony wrapped an arm around him.  
"You have nothing to be sorry about," Tony assured as you both led him towards the exit.   
"Not in the slightest." You firmly added before Steve could argue.

Tony had had one of his worst panic attacks tonight. The three of you had entered the team living room to find them watching a movie.   
You and Steve had moved into the kitchen (like you'd planned to), but Tony remained frozen, watching the screen.  
Unfortunately, neither of you noticed Tony's building panic until the dam broke when the movie's main character began to die in space.  
Tony had basically stopped breathing as he collapsed to his knees.  
"Tony!" Steve exclaimed, rushing towards your fallen partner with you right behind him.  
"Turn it off!" You snapped, noticing what was playing on the T.V.  
"Tony, five things you can see." Steve gently ordered the man. "C'mon, Tones, five things."  
"You, N/N, th-the floor, my hands, space," Tony mumbled.  
"Good, Tony. What are four things you can touch?" You asked him.  
"Pants. You. Stevie. Floor."   
"Three things you can hear."  
"You. N/N. My heart."  
"Two things you can smell."  
"Your perfume. My shirt."  
"And one thing you can taste."  
"Metal." Tony finished, his breathing evened out and much less panicked.  
After Tony had caught his breath, he rose to a stand and casually left the room. You and Steve had found Tony sat on the kitchen floor staring at the empty bar.   
Tony had emptied the floor of alcohol three years ago. He hadn't a drink since. The team had stood by Tony's commitment and emptied the entire Tower of any alcohol.   
You were a team, and you all stuck together.   
"I want a drink. I want a drink so badly." Tony mumbled, maintaining his blank stare.   
"There's not a drop in the Tower, Tones." You reminded him as you and Steve sat beside him. "It's what you wanted."  
"I know. I thought about getting FRIDAY to order some. Or driving myself down to a bar." He shrugged, still refusing to meet either of your gazes. "Kinda thought that would be more than a couple steps back."  
"That's really good, Tones." Steve smiled, placing his hand on the man's back. "That shows how strong you are."  
"Don't feel that strong." Tony shook his head. "Kinda feel a bit weak right now, if you know what I mean?"  
"You, Tony Stark, are the strongest Avenger." You said, taking his hand and squeezing it tightly. "Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Not even yourself."   
"God, I just want a drink," Tony mumbled a few minutes later. "Can you two distract me? I need to think about something else." Tony said, rising to his feet and turning on the coffee maker.  
"Yeah, of course." You agreed.  
"We can do that," Steve added as the two of you rose to a stand.

Your childhood wasn't something you regularly spoke about or even thought about.  
It was traumatic, to say the least.  
You tried not to think about it, any facet of your childhood. And this usually worked just fine.   
Your past couldn't haunt you if you blocked it out.  
But sometimes you couldn't help but think about it. Sometimes you couldn't help but be triggered by the awful memories and phantom touches.  
"I think we should celebrate a mission well done," Tony commented one night.   
He and Steve had just gotten back from a three-day mission, and everything had apparently gone well.  
"And how do you suggest we celebrate, sweetheart?" You asked, turning to face the man.  
"Well, I didn't make an itinerary, but I was thinking the three of us could stay up here tonight and maybe tomorrow." He started.  
"I like this so far." Steve nodded.  
"Maybe find something to eat, and maybe we could start on dessert first?" He suggested, taking a couple steps forward and wrapping his arms around your waist.  
"I like the sound of that," Steve said, moving to stand beside you. "What'd you say Y/N?"  
"I think that sounds like fun." You grinned.  
As the three of you stood in the kitchen, with both men's hands traveling over your form, your mind started to wander.   
Suddenly you weren't in your kitchen, Steve and Tony weren't there, and you were much younger.  
"Stop." You mumbled. "Stop. Stop. Stop!" You screamed, pushing yourself away from your boys and into a corner. "Get away from me! Please, no more!" You cried, slipping to the floor. Your hands fell to the back of your head and pushed it between your knees.  
"Y/N, remember what you learned in therapy," Steve whispered to you.   
"Go away. Please go away."   
"Y/N, we're not him. You're safe. You're safe with us." Tony said soothingly.   
It took several minutes of both men's coaxing before you were able to breathe again, and you were able to raise your head.  
"There she is." Steve gave you a small smile. "Do you want some water?"  
"Please." You croaked.  
"You want to tell us about that?" Tony asked you quietly. "Did we push you tonight?"  
"No. It wasn't you. Either of you." You sighed, taking the water Steve offered and gulping it down. "My mother called today."  
"Oh?"  
"She wants me to appear before the parole board for my father." You admitted. "She thinks my statement will be the one to get him out early."  
"You're not going to, are you?" Tony asked, his eyes hardening at the mention of your father.  
"No." You shook your head. "I'd never help him. Not after what he did."  
"Good. Your mother has some nerve calling you for your help." Steve shook his head.  
"I'm sorry I freaked out on you." You mumbled, looking down.  
"Nope. None of that." Tony denied you. "I can physically feel your walls coming back up, and that's not allowed."  
"And you're not allowed to be sorry because there's nothing to be sorry about. You were triggered and panicked. It's perfectly normal." Steve told you.  
"Especially in this relationship," Tony added, causing you to laugh. "How does it sound if we change our plans and just order in and watch a movie tonight?"  
"That sounds really great." You smiled, reaching a hand out towards the men. "Can you help me up, please? My legs aren't really working."  
"Of course, doll," Steve said, taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.   
"We'll always be here to help you up."

The three of you had bad pasts, pasts that none of you liked to think about more than you had to. But, together, the three of you were able to work on coping techniques and move forward in your lives.  
And that was almost worth the pain.


End file.
